No Phoenix Forum for me, Fuck you very much US Customs (RANT)

[CybermedAndy]

I've just returned home from a trip to Vancouver having been denied entry into the USA by a dickless douchebag customs agent with a massive little man complex.

I left early this morning with one of our models to catch the ferry to Vancouver. I could not be more excited about heading down there, especially since Vegas was such a great time in January. We arrive well on time to the airport and are pulled aside by US customs for questioning.

No big deal, happens all the time, I travel to the USA 4-5 times a year. I'm assigned a scrawny 130 pound snickering, condescending agent who proceeds to ask me about past criminal history. I answer the same way I always do, Yes, I have a drug conviction- posession of pot.

That I got when I was 15 years old..

Yes, 15 years ago. And a clean record since, haven't even had so much as a drop of alcohol in 12 years now, much less drugs.

Well our US customs agent has decided now that he would like to flex what little power he has- to the absolute maximum level possible. He begins with small remarks to try and get a rise out of me, insinuating that I am lying to him. I smile and respond politely and honestly to every question. I'm so excited about the Phoenix Forum that it doesn't even occur to me that I'm not going to be allowed into the country.

I ask him politely if there's any chance of us still making the flight, to which answer nothing more than a slight shrug.

He asks me how much I was busted with 15 years ago, I say I honestly don't remember. To which he smirks, rolls his eyes and leans back and looks over to the other agents shaking his head.

I'm in disbelief at this stage at what a complete asshat this guy is. I cannot for the life of me figure out why he's acting like such an unprofessional jerk.

He then asks me with much incredulation "How can you not remember how much you had?!" To which I reply "Because it was 15 years ago" with my voice rising all of 3 decibals.

He then gives me the wide-eyes and warns me for a full minute that if I so much as raise my voice to him again he will have me thrown out of the airport. "Would you like that? You want me to have you thrown outta here?" he says to me. It suddenly dawns on me: I'm being verbally bullied by a man-child.

I'm instructed to wait outside, where another customs official (different department) kindly offers myself and my friend a drink, and, seeing my total frustration, confides in me that the guy I'm dealing with has a history of complaints against him. He strongly encourages me to lodge a complaint, insinuating that the guy I'm dealing with has few strikes against him left.

Meanwhile our flight has long since left. The airline has come into customs to instruct us that there won't be another flight until tomorrow.

The guy finally calls me back to his counter to happily tell me that they have found sufficient grounds to deny me entry into the USA. I calmly ask why, and he informs me that the found the drug charge to be sufficient enough reason to deny me.

The pot charge I incurred 15 years ago as a young teen.

I speak to his supervisor who tells me that he actually had suggested I be allowed through as the matter was so trivial, but the little man syndrome victim insisted I not be allowed.

I let little man syndrome victim know I'll be lodging a complaint against him for the way he handled it. He responds with the expected smarmy reply "Great! I hope you do!".

I tell the other (kind and helpful) agent that I will be writing a letter letting his bosses know how helpful and considerate he was through the ordeal.

For all of you in Phoenix who I was so looking forward to meeting and networking with, hopefully sometime soon, August Internext provided I can get this cleared up by then.

Have fun in Phoenix this weekend everyone, wish I could be there with you.

<End Rant>

[xclusive]

Damn that sucks man at least you will be able to get to WA Montreal in May I hope.

[Mutt]

that really does suck. guess you'll have to see a lawyer. customs agents are typically losers - they love the power they have over normal people. you had a model with you, he's probably a 30 year old virgin - this gave him more reason to fuck with you. customs = revenge of the nerds.

[Roald]

Damn that truly sucks. Didn't you ask them why they let you through all the other times you went there?

I hate those kind of people.

[simple simon]

drugs are bad, K?

[Makingcoin]

Sorry to hear that bro, sounds like the guy is a complete jack ass. How long will that stay on your record for and have you had any problems like this in the past? Says you travel a few times a year so I am assuming no.

[wdsguy]

thats fucked up. hope u get his dumbass fired.

[Makingcoin]

Did you tell him you were going down for biz and if so did you tell him a porn convention?

[sonofsam]

thats fucking brutal man, sorry to hear that....

i agree with mutt.. sounds like a 30 year old virgin to me

[BIGTYMER]

That sucks big time... I'm sorry to read that. I hate people who abuse their powers.

[Shortbread]

As far as I know, if you had a charge like that as a minor, then it should have been closed once you reached adulthood and is not supposed to be re-opened or brought up again. In fact they shouldn't even have that on record really anywhere anymore, nor can they use that against you. Look into it. I think you have a strong case on your hands.

[Shoehorn!]

What a fucker, I hate people like that.

[CybermedAndy]

Originally Posted by QuaShe

Damn that truly sucks. Didn't you ask them why they let you through all the other times you went there?

Ya the supervisor gave me some vague answer that I didn't understand, something about them being backed up,

[BRISK]

Originally Posted by Shortbread

As far as I know, if you had a charge like that as a minor, then it should have been closed once you reached adulthood and is not supposed to be re-opened or brought up again. In fact they shouldn't even have that on record really anywhere anymore, nor can they use that against you. Look into it. I think you have a strong case on your hands.

He admitted to it when they asked a general question about any past criminal stuff though. The customs guy was fishing for something like this. Customs people have very boring jobs, confrontation is the only excitement to look forward to during the day.

[basschick]

wow, AngelDollarsAndy - that's so fucked up! i hope you do write that letter!

[CybermedAndy]

Originally Posted by Makingcoin

Did you tell him you were going down for biz and if so did you tell him a porn convention?

Just told him it was for an Internet convention. I think he made up his mind when he saw the little hottie blonde (Kai) I had with me, to be honest.

It was personnal, I've told a dozen custom agents before about the juvenle record and none of them ever seemed the least bit concerned.

[wargames]

Drugs are good for medication.

[European Lee]

HAHAHAHA

The one prank for April Fools that actually sucks is the one that everyone fell for LMAO

Nice one

Regards,

Lee

[CybermedAndy]

Originally Posted by Shortbread

As far as I know, if you had a charge like that as a minor, then it should have been closed once you reached adulthood and is not supposed to be re-opened or brought up again. In fact they shouldn't even have that on record really anywhere anymore, nor can they use that against you. Look into it. I think you have a strong case on your hands.

Ya thats what I thought.

I think they can find it if they do enough digging, the guys spent an hour digging stuff up.

My mistake was assuming that they would recognize it for what it is- a trivial charge for somethign I did 15 years ago(and plead guilty to).

But you're right, I'm gonna see a lawyer about it, can't miss Internext this year.

[SmokeyTheBear]

[CybermedAndy]

Originally Posted by European Lee

HAHAHAHA

The one prank for April Fools that actually sucks is the one that everyone fell for LMAO

Nice one

Regards,

Lee

Lee, I wish I was joking about this. I'm back home in front of my computer.

I also forgot to mention that I lost the airmiles I used for the flight and also the $600 for the hotel.

[CybermedAndy]

Originally Posted by SmokeyTheBear

See post # 21 please

[V_RocKs]

Damn Andy... I has no idea Juicy was a customs agent. Sorry to here it is true.

[Greg Jacobson]

Originally Posted by SmokeyTheBear

That is amazing. I have never get my shit to float like that.

[rambler]

Originally Posted by Shortbread

As far as I know, if you had a charge like that as a minor, then it should have been closed once you reached adulthood and is not supposed to be re-opened or brought up again. In fact they shouldn't even have that on record really anywhere anymore, nor can they use that against you. Look into it. I think you have a strong case on your hands.

It's too late now, once you admit it to the customs agent it stays on file(customs) for good. He can try and apply for a waiver next time to avoid another "guard with a chip"

[New User]

Originally Posted by Mutt

that really does suck. guess you'll have to see a lawyer. customs agents are typically losers - they love the power they have over normal people. you had a model with you, he's probably a 30 year old virgin - this gave him more reason to fuck with you. customs = revenge of the nerds.

He can see a lawyer all he wants, nothing will be done, unless you want to assume that the U.S. handles charges like this much better than Canadian officials do.

I had a very similar experience happen to me about a year ago while returning home (to Canada) from a trip to New York. I am a U.S. citizen who is married to a Canadian woman and was in the middle of the process of applying for permanent residence status, which as a common courtesy the Canadian government allows you to live in Canada with your spouse if you are married when you apply. It also means you have paid more than $3,000 to live in Canada by this time not including future immigration fees.

I have no criminal record of any sort, not even a speeding ticket. In fact I am currently a Doctorate student, twice graduated with honors (undergrad and Masters) and yes I have been making my way through school by running porn sites, but they don't know that, I HOPE!

Anyway, woman who works for Immigration Canada with a real chip on her shoulder decides I am living in Canada illegally and then gets the "boys" in customs to trash my brand new car just sure they would find all sorts of illegal drugs.

They found a box of Duncan Donuts and threatened to arrest my wife because she did not claim the purchase to pay tax on it.

They, then shredded my drivers license and immigration documents and told me if I drove my car I would be driving without a license and they would arrest me and if I ever tried to enter Canada again I would be immediately arrested for illegal entry.

Stuck 2,000 miles from my closest relative and no photo identification (the U.S. customs officials almost did not let me back across until I found my birth certificate) at which time I was informed that "those shit-heads over there" do this stuff all the time to honest people.

So my wife had to drive me all the way back south and it took two months to get sorted out and to receive official documentation that I could re-enter. I had to live away from home, my wife, with my mom and had none of my material items, or even clothes until I bought some new ones for two months, and of course I had to pay more immigration fees to get everything in order. Even then I was not given 100% clearance, I was just told I could attempt to recross and see what happens.

I was screened for two hours and interrogated at the Windsor crossing trying to get back into Canada even though they had all my information right their in their computers, finally they decided to let me in once I pounded in the point about how much money I paid to live here.

The first day I got back we went to see an attorney and the MP and both were very sympathetic, the MP said he would make some calls and see what he could do.

I was told the next day by the MP's secretary that if we proceeded with any legal action, even though they admitted what happened was a violation of my rights and the law, that I would be kicked out of Canada forever and my immigration status would cease to exist. That info apparently came from Ottawa.

Sorry you didn't get to Phoenix.


P.S. My application for Permanent Residence did go through and I now have a little card that says I can live here as long as I like.

[New User]

Originally Posted by rambler

It's too late now, once you admit it to the customs agent it stays on file(customs) for good. He can try and apply for a waiver next time to avoid another "guard with a chip"

Thats true, you never have to reveal anything that happened before you were 18, that info is sealed forever and its illegale to ever open it, unless you authorize it.

By admitting it, they will keep it on file, they type down almost everything you ever say when you cross the border so they have a very long record on file. I am not sure if you can get an attorney or MP to contact anyone to have that part of your file erased, but it may be worth looking into so that you never have to bring it up again when crossing the border.

I vaguely remember talking to someone about this when I was going through all the BS and I was given the info (I think so much was going on I don't clearly remember) that the records are 100% private and the only way to get a hold of them and/or edit them is by attorney. But that was on the Canadian side of things and I don't know what the procedure would be, or if there is one, for editing and/or deleting information from it.

Worth looking into though.

[CybermedAndy]

Originally Posted by New User

He can see a lawyer all he wants, nothing will be done, unless you want to assume that the U.S. handles charges like this much better than Canadian officials do.

I had a very similar experience happen to me about a year ago while returning home (to Canada) from a trip to New York. I am a U.S. citizen who is married to a Canadian woman and was in the middle of the process of applying for permanent residence status, which as a common courtesy the Canadian government allows you to live in Canada with your spouse if you are married when you apply. It also means you have paid more than $3,000 to live in Canada by this time not including future immigration fees.

I have no criminal record of any sort, not even a speeding ticket. In fact I am currently a Doctorate student, twice graduated with honors (undergrad and Masters) and yes I have been making my way through school by running porn sites, but they don't know that, I HOPE!

Anyway, woman who works for Immigration Canada with a real chip on her shoulder decides I am living in Canada illegally and then gets the "boys" in customs to trash my brand new car just sure they would find all sorts of illegal drugs.

They found a box of Duncan Donuts and threatened to arrest my wife because she did not claim the purchase to pay tax on it.

They, then shredded my drivers license and immigration documents and told me if I drove my car I would be driving without a license and they would arrest me and if I ever tried to enter Canada again I would be immediately arrested for illegal entry.

Stuck 2,000 miles from my closest relative and no photo identification (the U.S. customs officials almost did not let me back across until I found my birth certificate) at which time I was informed that "those shit-heads over there" do this stuff all the time to honest people.

So my wife had to drive me all the way back south and it took two months to get sorted out and to receive official documentation that I could re-enter. I had to live away from home, my wife, with my mom and had none of my material items, or even clothes until I bought some new ones for two months, and of course I had to pay more immigration fees to get everything in order. Even then I was not given 100% clearance, I was just told I could attempt to recross and see what happens.

I was screened for two hours and interrogated at the Windsor crossing trying to get back into Canada even though they had all my information right their in their computers, finally they decided to let me in once I pounded in the point about how much money I paid to live here.

The first day I got back we went to see an attorney and the MP and both were very sympathetic, the MP said he would make some calls and see what he could do.

I was told the next day by the MP's secretary that if we proceeded with any legal action, even though they admitted what happened was a violation of my rights and the law, that I would be kicked out of Canada forever and my immigration status would cease to exist. That info apparently came from Ottawa.

Sorry you didn't get to Phoenix.


P.S. My application for Permanent Residence did go through and I now have a little card that says I can live here as long as I like.

Thanks man... after readin this I don't feel nearly as bad about it.

[CybermedAndy]

Originally Posted by rambler

It's too late now, once you admit it to the customs agent it stays on file(customs) for good. He can try and apply for a waiver next time to avoid another "guard with a chip"

Ya they gave me the "waiver" forms to fill out. Told me it would take around 4 months

[New User]

Originally Posted by AngelDollarsAndy

Thanks man... after readin this I don't feel nearly as bad about it.

Always trying to help, especially my brothers in the "Coalition of The Abused By Inept Border Guards."


Can't we all just get along?

[spunkmaster]

What's fucked up is that Canada lets you in if you tell them you are a terrorist and in danger in your own country. There was a special on TV last year and they let anyone without any ID in from Asia and the middle east.

[kowntafit]

that's tough luck

[Frank The Tank]

oh man thats total bullshit .. honestly id not write the letter - id much rather get someone follow that fuck home and kick some sense into him for a while without mentioning why

[Webmasters2005]

As I always say..

DONT DO DRUGS!

[pradaboy]

that sucks man... amazing how some people are so narrow minded.

[sonofsam]

this is not an april fools joke.... hes telling the truth.

[Jensen]

hmm could he deny you even though his supervisor would allow you? That sounds strange to me..

[Manowar]

that sucks man

[xNetworx]

Why even mention something that happened when you were a juvenille? Sucks... they fucked ya.

[GoLiaT]

Originally Posted by pimpporn

Why even mention something that happened when you were a juvenille? Sucks... they fucked ya.

yea i would have said nothing
and if they somehow found out
i would have said , oh that shit that was 15 years ago

[Spunky]

That sucks man..I had a incident also ..they ripped apart my car ,removing seats etc and just left it like that due to a tiny roach found on the floor

[pornstar2pac]

that sucks man

[tungsten]

that sucks, sorry to hear

[ezrydn]

Andy,

To those of you who are familiar with Customs Entry into Phoenix Airport: I am a US citizen who travels on a US passport. However, I live in Mexico. I was enroute to my Vietnam reunion in TX when I was stopped by Customs in Phoenix.

Problems! It seems (I found out a year later from a nicer Customs agent) that there was a person from Colorado that had my same name that they were looking for. GREAT! It's not me.

That's what the little Customs man said when he looked at my passport. I showed him my Mexican FM3 papers and he still said it didn't look like me. This went on and on. He looked at the US passport again and reinterated, "It doesn't look like you." I said, "Maybe it's because it's 9.5 years old and will be renewed when I return home." Nope, he still didn't think it looked like me.

At that point, he was facing a retired US combat vet with 100% PTSD! And, gawd, I had a full head of steam at that point. I lifted my tee shirt and screamed, in front of about 3000 waiting, "Do you think a 6-way bypass could alter a person's appearance... JUST A LITTLE????," and pointed to my scar.

I think that got to him and he realized he had an angry American on his hands. He finally let me pass.

The follow YEAR (Yes, year), I hit Customs again. However, this time, I had a great agent to work with. He explained what had been happening to me, per the computer info and it all made sense. He also told me that they have exact records as to who is on duty, when and where. He said for me to file a complaint with the Customs service and give the exact time/date/flights that were involved. They'd know who I had interacted with and take measures with that person. I found out 6 months later, on another trip through the same airport, that the agent was no longer with the agency.

The report shit works!

I, too, am now looking for that fucker from Colorado that is using my name!

[Cassie]

in the states, a charge like that at such a young age is expunged from your record upon hitting 18. not sure what canadian laws are. either way, that was a completely ridiculous reason not to let you in.

keep good people out and let bad people in....no wonder the us is constantly on the defensive.

[quantum-x]

Customs agents suck dick.

I'm Australian, part of the Commonwealth - yet when I went to the UK, I was held up for about 45minutes by some shit-for-brains customs agent.

Bear in mind, I've just stepped off the plane, carrying only my hand luggage.

Customs agent: Can I have your passport
Me: Sure.
Customs agent: Purpose of visit?
Me: Seeing some old friends, having a few meetings and just looking around.
Him: What meetings?
Me: Just seeing some work colleagues.
Him: What are their names, who do they work for?
Me: Uhh...
Him: You're required to tell me this information. Do you have proof of your meetings? I need to see their business cards, contact details, and a letter of confirmation of your meetings.
Me: I've just stepped off a 30 hour flight, I don't have this information on me.
Him: Well, that's just another problem you have then, isn't it.
Me: Uhhh..
Him: These friends you're staying with. Where do they live.
Me: I'm not sure, I've never stayed with them in the UK before. I'm meeting them in arrivals.
Him: They're your friends and you don't know where they live? Sounds like a pretty weak excuse to me.
Him: How much money do you have in your wallet?
Me: What does that have to do with anything?
Him: I need to know how much you have.
Me: About 60 Pounds.
Him: And you're staying for 2 weeks, right?
Me: Right.
Him: That's not much money for 2 weeks. How were you planning to stay?
Me: I have my VISA.
Him: A VISA isn't cash - that's not sufficent proof that you have enough funds to sustain yourself. How much is on your card?
Me: That's none of your business
Him: Yes, it is.
Me: Let me ask you something. How much money do you have in your pocket?
Him: I don't have to answer that.
Me: Humour me.
Him: 20 Pounds
Me: And you live here permanently? Damn, how do you sustain yourself on 20 pounds?
Him: Stop being smart:
Me: Seriously man, what's you're case? I'm Australian. I've just gone through immigration in 5 countries including the middle east before here, and they couldn't care less about how much money I had in my damn wallet.
Him: ...
Me: So can I come through?
Him: *Calls colleague over, chats, walks off, comes back with a big red stamp.
Him: I'm letting you in, under a Code 3 Stamp.
Me: And that means?
Him: We will be monitoring you throughout the duration of your stay. If you do not leave within your two weeks, we will track you down.
Me: You've stamped my passport for 6 months
Him: Two weeks!
Me: Ok, remind me next time when I come through to say I'm going to go see the palace and feed the pigeons, ok?
Him: *Smirks - Oh no! Don't do that, we're happy to have you here.

Now, not to be paranoid, but every time I made a phone call in the UK, the unlock icon on my phone kept appearing - indicating that GSM encryption had been turned off for that call. It continued for a week after I left the UK, then went back to normal.

I swear customs guys are complete arseholes - I feel for you man.

[HpicAnn]

Originally Posted by New User

He can see a lawyer all he wants, nothing will be done, unless you want to assume that the U.S. handles charges like this much better than Canadian officials do.

I had a very similar experience happen to me about a year ago while returning home (to Canada) from a trip to New York. I am a U.S. citizen who is married to a Canadian woman and was in the middle of the process of applying for permanent residence status, which as a common courtesy the Canadian government allows you to live in Canada with your spouse if you are married when you apply. It also means you have paid more than $3,000 to live in Canada by this time not including future immigration fees.

I have no criminal record of any sort, not even a speeding ticket. In fact I am currently a Doctorate student, twice graduated with honors (undergrad and Masters) and yes I have been making my way through school by running porn sites, but they don't know that, I HOPE!

Anyway, woman who works for Immigration Canada with a real chip on her shoulder decides I am living in Canada illegally and then gets the "boys" in customs to trash my brand new car just sure they would find all sorts of illegal drugs.

They found a box of Duncan Donuts and threatened to arrest my wife because she did not claim the purchase to pay tax on it.

They, then shredded my drivers license and immigration documents and told me if I drove my car I would be driving without a license and they would arrest me and if I ever tried to enter Canada again I would be immediately arrested for illegal entry.

Stuck 2,000 miles from my closest relative and no photo identification (the U.S. customs officials almost did not let me back across until I found my birth certificate) at which time I was informed that "those shit-heads over there" do this stuff all the time to honest people.

So my wife had to drive me all the way back south and it took two months to get sorted out and to receive official documentation that I could re-enter. I had to live away from home, my wife, with my mom and had none of my material items, or even clothes until I bought some new ones for two months, and of course I had to pay more immigration fees to get everything in order. Even then I was not given 100% clearance, I was just told I could attempt to recross and see what happens.

I was screened for two hours and interrogated at the Windsor crossing trying to get back into Canada even though they had all my information right their in their computers, finally they decided to let me in once I pounded in the point about how much money I paid to live here.

The first day I got back we went to see an attorney and the MP and both were very sympathetic, the MP said he would make some calls and see what he could do.

I was told the next day by the MP's secretary that if we proceeded with any legal action, even though they admitted what happened was a violation of my rights and the law, that I would be kicked out of Canada forever and my immigration status would cease to exist. That info apparently came from Ottawa.

Sorry you didn't get to Phoenix.


P.S. My application for Permanent Residence did go through and I now have a little card that says I can live here as long as I like.

WOW this is incredible!!!

[SinSational]

that sucks. i feel your pain

[VMAN]

America wants to keep all the criminals out! Good Job Customs, and Happy April Fools Day.

[Shags]

Where you from? In my country a minor offence like that is only shown on your paper in 5 years.