Happy Fourth All, Yes, I am alive, Here is an update....

[Big_D]

For those of you who remember, or that actually give a shit, I am still alive, and I am still kicking. (and still havent read the replies to my last post).

The last time I posted on this board it contained my apology to everyone in online adult and a small explanation about an addiction that had taken over my life. Since that time a lot of things have changed for the better and I am slowly gaining confidence in myself again.

When I left my life was in shambles. I had turned my back on my family, I had turned my back on my friends, and worst of all I had turned my back on myself. I quit giving a shit about everyone and the only thing on my mind was the time and location of the next party. Getting fucked up was all I gave a shit about and honestly at the time i didn't give two shits about who i fucked over to get that good time.

When I realized the most foul moments of my life had only recently occurred, I knew it was time for a change in lifestyle, hence the post that I left to all of you. I left Vegas, I left the industry, I gave up my life and I set out for a small trip that actually turned out to be a long fucking journey.

The first stop was Louisville, KY. I moved in with a cousin that was a raging lesbian with a bull dyke as a girlfriend. Well as sexist as I am and as man-hating as she was that lasted a month. I then turned to a friend from the navy. He hooked me up for a month with a place to stay and that soon came to an end. I then contacted my true best friend in my life and told him everything, leaving nothing back and I was soon on my way to London, England to setup shop.

Well the karma monster was on my back because I was denied entry to the United Kingdom and deported to Atlanta (I originated in Detroit) after spending 3 fucking days in a British prison for visa violations.

Upon arriving in Atlanta, the street was all I had in front of me. I called the last couple people on my list of trustees and somehow managed a greyhound ticket back to Louisville, with my uncle picking me up at greyhound the next morning. Upon arriving I went job hunting like a motherfucker. If it had a store sign, it had a copy of my application, and on day three I was hired on the spot at a quickie mart and started rebuilding.

All was good for about three weeks. I was at work 20 minutes early every day, never late, the model employee. Well one night after a 10 hour shift I came home to an enraged family . Low blows, hard hits, stuff that brought me even lower came out. (My family consists of functioning alcoholics that get evil when trashed). The karma dragon officially bit my fucking head off. 45 minutes of family abuse and I was on the street again.

After that I spent 2 nights on the street with a lappy and a wifi. I dug hard. Finding friends from the past, friends of friends, anything that could give me a bed and then i found one. A former employer from the non-adult world stuck his hand out and before long I was on my way to the first step back up.

For the past few months I have been the door man at a local strip club in Louisville, KY. In that time I have gone from nowhere to go to again achieving my own place. My confidence in myself is rising once again and I know before long, I will be able to pay back all of those people that I have faulted throughout the past. For those of you in the industry that I owe, it will come soon, I'm sorry for the long delay, but all I can say is this. What doesn't break a man only makes him stronger.

I'll be back soon enough......and as always, If you can't be good, be good at it.

[seeandsee]

welcome back

[HorseShit]

getting my spot right here

[Big_D]

Originally Posted by Justin

getting my spot right here

good call im sure its gonna be ugly

[StuartD]

but people love the tattoos... right?

[Big_D]

Originally Posted by StuartD

but people love the tattoos... right?

actually......yes......and i even find that hard to believe

[Ethersync]

Originally Posted by Big_D

Well the karma monster was on my back because I was denied entry to the United Kingdom and deported to Atlanta (I originated in Detroit) after spending 3 fucking days in a British prison for visa violations.

Visa violations? How did that happen? Americans can stay 6 months in the UK without a visa at all.

[Big_D]

Originally Posted by Ethersync

Visa violations? How did that happen? Americans can stay 6 months in the UK without a visa at all.

Profiled, official document reads, "We are unconfident you are visiting the United Kingdom for the reasons you stated"

[Alky]

no offense man... but it still seems like you're blaming other people for stuff...

if i'm wrong then good on you for getting back on track.

[Ethersync]

Originally Posted by Big_D

Profiled, official document reads, "We are unconfident you are visiting the United Kingdom for the reasons you stated"

I've never heard of this happening to an American traveling into the UK. What did you tell the border agent when he asked the purpose of your visit?

[Big_D]

Originally Posted by Ethersync

I've never heard of this happening to an American traveling into the UK. What did you tell the border agent when he asked the purpose of your visit?

30 days, staying at this hotel, yadda yadda. I've been over it a hundred times. not sweating it these days. BTW it was gatwick, which ive heard a bitch to begin with.

[Big_D]

Originally Posted by Alky

no offense man... but it still seems like you're blaming other people for stuff...

if i'm wrong then good on you for getting back on track.

it was all of my own decisions that landed me in the boat. finding out that i left myself without paddles was something to be discovered down the road. I'm aware the only one in charge of my life is me.....

yes im on track, thanks...........

[Ethersync]

Originally Posted by Big_D

30 days, staying at this hotel, yadda yadda. I've been over it a hundred times. not sweating it these days. BTW it was gatwick, which ive heard a bitch to begin with.

Being denied entry is not the same as a Visa violation. Did you bathe before you got on your flight? The only way I could see this happening, assuming you don't have some kind of record, is you looked, and smelled, like you just rolled in off the street and told the border agent you were going to spend a month living in the Royal Suite at The Lanesborough

[Platinumpimp]

It's a good thing that you have hopefully learned from your mistakes. The trick now is to stay a good boy ;)))))

[Juicy D. Links]

BurRRRRRRRRRRRppppp i need cliffnotes

[commonsense]

Go away.


Until you pay back all those people you lied to and stole money from don't come looking for sympathy.

[mrwilson]

Fuck off, you bastard, i loved you and you left me

We used to speak on icq often and one day you just vanished i was lost with out you.

I cried a little.




Joking ofcourse.

I am glad that things are starting to pick up mate and i do really hope your life is much better from this moment on.

[georgeyw]

This is hilarious, I love all these outspoken *players* who always end up flipping burgers.

Fuck off idiot, you have lied your arse off and this is what the 2nd, 3rd or 4th chance you're now begging for?

Anyone who takes you in is a deadset fucking moron.

I cannot for the life of me believe the number of A one dickheads that are on here.

[onedree]

Geeze, I thought my life was exciting

[halfpint]

Hey welcome back. Nice to see you have picked yourself up

[kristin]

Are you the guy that got company's logos tattooed on your body?

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

If you are indeed getting your life back together, then good for you.

Please e-mail and let's discuss how you can make things right with regards to the money/project you've owed me since last year.

I'm willing to give you another chance, but you have to deliver more than excuses this time.

You have my contact info...

ADG

[fris]

Originally Posted by kristin

Are you the guy that got company's logos tattooed on your body?

yep thats him

[commonsense]

Originally Posted by kristin

Are you the guy that got company's logos tattooed on your body?

Yup. Except for the companies that he flat out just stole the tattoo money. And many other "loans"

[TurboAngel]

I hope things get better and you can some how pay people back.

[CaptainHowdy]

You've just made me feel like a rural priest...

[the.drunk]

nice to know you are doing better

[tranza]

Originally Posted by the.drunk

nice to know you are doing better

[Zorgman]

Good to see your back mate. Hope you stay on the level from now on. Money is the key to a good future. Without it, we're all fucked. save save save!

[baddog]

Originally Posted by georgeyw

This is hilarious, I love all these outspoken *players* who always end up flipping burgers.

Fuck off idiot, you have lied your arse off and this is what the 2nd, 3rd or 4th chance you're now begging for?

Anyone who takes you in is a deadset fucking moron.

I cannot for the life of me believe the number of A one dickheads that are on here.

Guess I missed it. Where is he begging for anything? Like the title says, it is an update.

He could just stay away and no one would be the wiser. Sounds like he has intentions of paying people back.

[MetaMan]

The thing i never get about these stories is how many people you must have pissed off to get where you are at?

i have countless family and GOOD friends that would go out of there way to help me in a time of need. even though i would be to stubborn to ask for it i know they would indeed help me.

anyway MAN THE FUCK up and get yourself in order it is embarrassing as a human being. you are not in africa starving you have options, be a man and step up to the plate.

2-3 months of hard work and focus can get ANYONE back on track.

[BradM]

I hear you have some carpet to replace.

[candyflip]

Originally Posted by fris

yep thats him

He was an idiot then and it sounds like things haven't changed much.

[Agent 488]

good luck getting back on your feet.

[Nicky]

Well hello there....

[Robbie]

Big D...you know I love you man. But damn!

Let's see...you were in the porn industry, living in Vegas, getting high and fucking whores.

But that was bad?

And what has happened to you since you decided to "change your life" is "good"?

I'm confused...

[Spunky]

Best of luck in the future,hope things turn out for the better

[HorseShit]

where's fuzebox

[D-Money]

Best of luck D.

[JD]

good to hear you're alive still man

[BradM]

Originally Posted by JD

good to hear you're alive still man

Just curious..... why?

[Deesnuts]

i remember that thread ,seems like your on a good path now kudos

[Jack Sparrow]

Whos he?

[roly]

Originally Posted by Ethersync

Being denied entry is not the same as a Visa violation. Did you bathe before you got on your flight? The only way I could see this happening, assuming you don't have some kind of record, is you looked, and smelled, like you just rolled in off the street and told the border agent you were going to spend a month living in the Royal Suite at The Lanesborough

you have to satisfy them that you have enough funds to support yourself during your stay and don't intend to work.

[marketsmart]

Originally Posted by Robbie

Big D...you know I love you man. But damn!

Let's see...you were in the porn industry, living in Vegas, getting high and fucking whores.

But that was bad?

And what has happened to you since you decided to "change your life" is "good"?

I'm confused...

the problem was he couldnt control his partying and substance use..

after he fucked over numerous people in the industry all doors were shut on him.

now he is suffering the consequences.



"Man looks into the Abyss, and there's nothin' staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character, and that's what keeps him out of the Abyss."
Lou Mannheim

[v4 media]

Originally Posted by Big_D

For those of you who remember, or that actually give a shit, I am still alive, and I am still kicking. (and still havent read the replies to my last post).

The last time I posted on this board it contained my apology to everyone in online adult and a small explanation about an addiction that had taken over my life. Since that time a lot of things have changed for the better and I am slowly gaining confidence in myself again.

When I left my life was in shambles. I had turned my back on my family, I had turned my back on my friends, and worst of all I had turned my back on myself. I quit giving a shit about everyone and the only thing on my mind was the time and location of the next party. Getting fucked up was all I gave a shit about and honestly at the time i didn't give two shits about who i fucked over to get that good time.

When I realized the most foul moments of my life had only recently occurred, I knew it was time for a change in lifestyle, hence the post that I left to all of you. I left Vegas, I left the industry, I gave up my life and I set out for a small trip that actually turned out to be a long fucking journey.

The first stop was Louisville, KY. I moved in with a cousin that was a raging lesbian with a bull dyke as a girlfriend. Well as sexist as I am and as man-hating as she was that lasted a month. I then turned to a friend from the navy. He hooked me up for a month with a place to stay and that soon came to an end. I then contacted my true best friend in my life and told him everything, leaving nothing back and I was soon on my way to London, England to setup shop.

Well the karma monster was on my back because I was denied entry to the United Kingdom and deported to Atlanta (I originated in Detroit) after spending 3 fucking days in a British prison for visa violations.

Upon arriving in Atlanta, the street was all I had in front of me. I called the last couple people on my list of trustees and somehow managed a greyhound ticket back to Louisville, with my uncle picking me up at greyhound the next morning. Upon arriving I went job hunting like a motherfucker. If it had a store sign, it had a copy of my application, and on day three I was hired on the spot at a quickie mart and started rebuilding.

All was good for about three weeks. I was at work 20 minutes early every day, never late, the model employee. Well one night after a 10 hour shift I came home to an enraged family . Low blows, hard hits, stuff that brought me even lower came out. (My family consists of functioning alcoholics that get evil when trashed). The karma dragon officially bit my fucking head off. 45 minutes of family abuse and I was on the street again.

After that I spent 2 nights on the street with a lappy and a wifi. I dug hard. Finding friends from the past, friends of friends, anything that could give me a bed and then i found one. A former employer from the non-adult world stuck his hand out and before long I was on my way to the first step back up.

For the past few months I have been the door man at a local strip club in Louisville, KY. In that time I have gone from nowhere to go to again achieving my own place. My confidence in myself is rising once again and I know before long, I will be able to pay back all of those people that I have faulted throughout the past. For those of you in the industry that I owe, it will come soon, I'm sorry for the long delay, but all I can say is this. What doesn't break a man only makes him stronger.

I'll be back soon enough......and as always, If you can't be good, be good at it.

O.K Someone turn that into a country song...

If you can squeeze in his dog dying, woman leaving and his old truck not starting... he's got a hit on his hands.

[C-Luv]

good to see you are getting better : )

Interesting thread.

[Sly]

Why is it that those who come out with the loudest bang also fall the hardest?

Good luck to you. I don't wish misery on anyone.

[pr0]

I love ya to death bro, but you business sense & reliability is about zero. Even before the drugs took their toll. I'm not claiming to be perfect myself...sometimes I'm a year late on a project...but it always gets done.

DO NOT come back asking for a Job with a company. I don't think anyone is going to chance their relationships with friends to get you a job this time.

Set up shop for yourself (as an affiliate or your own company *funded by yourself*). Pay everyone back. And don't waste your $ and sobriety by going to an industry show ever again

I'm glad you got your own place.....you would be a horrible roommate

So once again
1) work for yourself when you come back, do not partner with anyone I know
2) do not show up at industry shows (it will lead to you losing your sobriety)
3) keep your own place, do not shack up with anyone in the industry again *or in a house they own*
4) good luck at finally being your own man.....no longer dependent on the generosity of others (this one takes some time, but it'll make ya a much better person!)
5) good luck man....all the shit i said above this was my business mind....i still love ya to death as a friend buddy